Practicing Boundaries at Work (Yes, Even in That Meeting)
Boundaries aren’t just about keeping people out; they’re about protecting your space, time, energy, and integrity. And while setting boundaries with family or friends can be hard enough, holding them at work with coworkers, clients, supervisors, or the general public often feels even more complicated.
You might worry you’ll come off as rude, uncooperative, or “too much.”
But here’s the truth: clear boundaries build better relationships, not worse ones. They help us stay grounded, avoid burnout, and work from a place of respect.
At Arise, we believe boundary-setting is a practice that, like a muscle, we can strengthen over time. And that muscle can absolutely be used in the workplace.
What Does a Workplace Boundary Sound Like?
When people think of “boundaries,” they often imagine confrontation — someone slamming a door, raising their voice, or issuing an ultimatum. But in reality, boundary-setting is often much quieter — and more nuanced. Especially when there are power imbalances involved.
You might be speaking to a manager, a teacher, a client, or someone with social or cultural authority. That dynamic can make it feel risky to assert your needs or speak up when something feels off. You may worry about being seen as difficult, ungrateful, or unprofessional — especially if you’ve been taught to keep the peace or not take up too much space.
But that’s exactly why practicing boundaries matters. In environments where power isn’t equally shared, having a few clear, practiced phrases can help you stay grounded and connected to your values — even when it’s uncomfortable.
In professional spaces, this can be especially tricky. Many of us were raised to avoid “making things awkward,” to smooth things over, or to avoid rocking the boat. But in the process, we often learn to override our discomfort or minimize our needs — and that can lead to burnout, resentment, and disconnection.
Power Dynamics at Work
Power exists in every relationship, but in workplaces, it’s often amplified by hierarchy, identity, and culture. The Wheel of Power & Control, originally developed to describe patterns of abuse, can also help us recognize how subtle forms of control and disrespect can appear in professional environments.
While the workplace is not the same as an abusive relationship, many of the same tactics — intimidation, minimizing, exclusion, or misuse of authority — can show up in smaller, systemic ways. These behaviours can create fear, silence voices, and make people question their instincts.
For example:
Isolation might look like being left out of meetings or group decisions.
Minimizing or blaming might sound like “You’re overreacting,” or “That’s just how we do things here.”
Using privilege might mean disregarding feedback from marginalized colleagues.
Emotional or psychological pressure can include guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or undermining confidence.
Economic pressure might show up through job insecurity or inequitable pay.
Recognizing these patterns isn’t about blaming; it’s about naming. When we can see how power operates, we can respond to it with more awareness, clarity, and care.
Boundaries, then, become a way to rebalance power — to say, “This is what I need to feel safe and respected,” and to advocate for cultures where everyone’s dignity is protected.
Boundaries take courage. They communicate self-respect, foster mutual respect, and lay the foundation for solid working relationships. They say: This is what I need to do my best work — and to feel safe while doing it.
At Arise, we teach that you don’t need to be loud to be clear, and you don’t need to be confrontational to be strong. Boundary-setting isn’t about control — it’s about clarity, care, and building a culture where everyone knows their voice matters.
And respect is something we all deserve, no matter our role, title, or level of experience.
Here are four practices you can use to strengthen your boundary-setting skills, especially in professional environments:
Practice 1: Recognizing Your Signals
Self-awareness is the first step to boundary setting.
Before you even speak a word, notice what’s happening in your body:
Do you feel tight in your chest or stomach?
Are you avoiding eye contact or holding your breath?
Do you feel small, anxious, or resentful?
These are early indicators that a boundary may be needed or has already been crossed.
🟡 When you feel the “yellow zone” rising, pause. Check in. Ask: What do I need in this moment to feel safe, clear, or respected?
Practice 2: Setting the Boundary
Boundary statements don’t have to be perfect — they just have to be clear.
You can start with a simple formula:
“I feel ___ when ___, and I need ___.”
Or try:
“I’m not okay with that. Here’s what I need instead.”
Start with low-stakes situations like a coworker interrupting you and work your way up. Confidence builds with use.
Pro tip: If your body is activated, try grounding techniques (like a slow exhale or pressing your feet into the floor) before speaking.
Practice 3: Holding the Line and Speaking Up
The hardest part of boundary work? Holding the boundary when it’s tested.
It’s not uncommon for people to push back, especially if they’re used to you saying yes or always getting what they want. That doesn’t mean your boundary was wrong. It means you’re changing a pattern, and that can feel uncomfortable.
Here are some common negative reactions you may encounter:
Denial: “I never said that… You misunderstood.”
Minimizing: “You’re overreacting… Can’t you take a joke?”
Guilt-tripping / Emotional coercion: “How can you say that to me? You’re being so selfish.”
Disrespecting your right to set boundaries: “This is just how I am. Get over it.”
Fake apology: “Fine. Sorry. Are we done now?”
Emotional collapse: “I’m such a terrible person. You must hate me.”
When faced with pushback, stay grounded and clear. You don’t need to argue, just hold your line and choose a response that matches the situation.
Here are some calm and respectful ways to respond:
Acknowledge emotion: “You sound upset.”
Express care: “You’re important to me. I want to talk about this openly.”
Restate your boundary: “This is important to me because I want better communication between us.”
Find common ground: “Maybe we misunderstood each other. Let’s try again.”
Clarify intent: “I’m not attacking you. I’m naming something I need.”
State a consequence: “If this continues, I’ll need to step away from the conversation.”
Take a break: “Let’s revisit this when we’re both feeling calmer.”
Request clarity: “I’m confused, can you explain what you meant by that?”
Let them have the last word: You don’t need to win the argument. Disengage with grace.
Leave with care: “I care about you. Let’s talk when we’re both ready.”
Leave safely: If someone is threatening or escalating, prioritize your safety. Leave the space and seek help.
Write it down: Documentation matters, especially in the workplace or power-imbalanced settings.
Know your physical options: In rare situations where your safety is at risk and you can’t leave, physical self-defense may be necessary. Always seek safety and support as soon as you can.
Keep your tone calm, your words steady, and your body grounded. Remember that holding the boundary isn’t about confrontation, it’s about seeking clarity and resolution. When we react from emotion instead of responding with intention, we risk saying or doing something we may later regret. Pausing, breathing, and staying rooted in your values can help you navigate even the most uncomfortable moments with confidence and care.
Practice 4: Asking for Support
You don’t have to navigate difficult dynamics alone.
Whether it’s HR, a manager, a trusted peer, or an outside support (therapist, coach, EAP), having a support system is key to feeling safe, seen, and valued — especially in a place where you spend so much of your time and energy.
Also, check in with others.
Sometimes the most powerful boundary work is in creating a culture where people check on each other and say, “Hey, are you okay with that?” or “Do you want me to back you up?”
Supportive workplaces and communities don’t just happen — they’re co-created, one interaction at a time.
If you’re in a leadership or educator role, remember: modeling and inviting boundary conversations is part of how we normalize consent, respect, and mutual care. When people feel safe, supported, and valued at work, they’re not just happier — they’re more engaged, creative, and effective.
Final Thoughts: Boundaries Build Confidence
If you’ve ever felt guilty, awkward, or unsure about setting boundaries at work, you’re not alone. But just like self-defense, boundary setting is a learned skill. The more you practice it, the more natural it becomes.
And here’s the beautiful part: the more we respect our own boundaries, the more we model that respect for others. It ripples outward, creating safer, more human-centered workspaces for everyone.
Want to Go Deeper?
📥 Download our free A–Z of Self-Defense Toolkit
It’s packed with reflection prompts, practical tips, and confidence boosters to help you feel stronger — in your body, your voice, and your choices.
Or join an upcoming class, workshop, or workplace training — where we teach verbal strategies, physical skills, and trauma-informed tools to feel safe, speak clearly, and stand tall.
